"To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad." Jack Handy, Deep Thoughts.
As someone who's dabbled in furniture manufacturing, the anabaptist communities have the chunky solid wood market covered. And IKEA is undercutting the market on the modern streamlined designs. I now opt for complete minimalism. Sleep on the floor.